Pre-marital counseling, while things are good
Most couples spend far more time planning a wedding than preparing for a marriage. Pre-marital counseling in Denver and online across Colorado gives you a structured place to talk about money, conflict, family and the future before any of it turns into a fight.
The easiest time to do this is when nothing is wrong
Pre-marital counseling is for couples who want to walk into marriage clear-eyed, usually while things are going well.
Learning each other’s values, how you each handle conflict, and where your expectations quietly differ is a gift to the two people you’ll be in ten years. A couple of months of sessions now can spare you some very hard years later.
Our pre-marital work is informed by the Gottman Method, and Gottman’s research consistently points to how couples handle conflict, more than whether they have it, as a predictor of how relationships fare. So a good part of what we do is practice. You have a real disagreement in the room, and you learn how to come back from it while the stakes are low.
Eight things to talk about before the wedding
These are the topics we come back to most. Some couples have already covered all of them. Most discover one or two where they have been assuming agreement without ever saying it out loud.
Money
- Joint accounts, separate ones, or some of each
- The debt each of you is bringing in
- What counts as a big purchase, and who gets a say
Conflict
- What each of you does when you’re upset
- How an argument usually ends
- How you make up afterward
Family & in-laws
- Holidays, and whose family gets which
- How much say your parents get
- Family habits you want to keep, and the ones you don’t
Kids
- Whether, when, and how many
- How each of you was disciplined growing up
- What you’d do if it doesn’t go to plan
Sex & intimacy
- How often feels right to each of you
- How you bring up what you want
- What closeness looks like outside the bedroom
Roles at home
- Who does what, and who notices what needs doing
- Whose career takes priority, and when
- The mental load of running a household
Stress & support
- What each of you needs on a bad day
- How you ask for help
- How you’d handle a loss, an illness or a layoff
The long view
- Where you want to live, and for how long
- Faith, values and traditions
- What you each picture ten years from now
You don’t need to settle every item. The point is to know where you each stand, and to have practiced talking about the hard ones before life forces the issue.
Most people spend more time planning a wedding than preparing for a marriage. A few months of sessions is a small correction.
How we use Prepare-Enrich
We offer pre-marital counseling using the Prepare-Enrich assessment, a research-validated tool that has been used with over 4 million couples worldwide. It produces a customized profile of your relationship’s specific strengths and growth areas across more than 20 dimensions.
Each of you completes the assessment online, which takes about an hour. Your therapist uses the results to focus your sessions on the two of you, so you spend your time on what matters for your relationship instead of a generic curriculum.
A free consultation
A 15-minute call to talk through your timeline and what you’re hoping to get out of the program.
The assessment
You each take Prepare-Enrich online, on your own time and without comparing answers.
Reading your results together
Your therapist walks you through your profile: the strengths to lean on and the places your expectations differ.
Sessions on what matters most
The rest of the program focuses on your growth areas, with practice in conflict and communication built in.
- Program8 to 10 sessions
- AssessmentAbout an hour, online
- Fees$190 to $215 a session
- WhereDenver & online
“You’re engaged and want to start your marriage with better tools than you were handed.”
Becca Moravec, LPC, LMFT · Read her bio →
Couples we see for pre-marital work
You don’t need to be in trouble to benefit. The couples who get the most out of this tend to come in curious rather than defensive.
- Newly engaged couples with a year or more before the wedding
- Couples a few weeks out who want to make good use of the time they have
- Couples already living together who know the day-to-day but haven’t talked through the long term
- Second marriages and blended families, where kids, exes and finances add layers
- Intercultural and interfaith couples deciding which traditions to carry forward
- Couples of every background and configuration, in a program that is secular and grounded in relationship science
If things already feel tense and the date is close, that’s a good reason to come in, and your therapist may suggest some couples therapy alongside the program. Many engaged couples do the whole thing online from home, anywhere in Colorado, which makes it easier to fit around work and wedding planning.
Pre-marital counseling questions
Our Prepare-Enrich program typically runs 8 to 10 sessions. We’ll give you a clearer picture after reviewing your assessment results, which help us focus the work on what matters most for your relationship.
Ideally six to twelve months before the wedding, which gives you time to work through what comes up without the pressure of an imminent date. That said, we’ve worked with couples at all stages, including some just a few weeks out.
It’s still worth doing. Living together reveals some patterns, but pre-marital counseling covers things cohabiting doesn’t: how you’ll handle finances as a married couple, the patterns you each bring from your families, and what you each actually expect from marriage.
Not at all. Our pre-marital program is secular and grounded in relationship science. Couples of all backgrounds, beliefs and configurations are welcome.
Yes. You can complete the assessment and every session by secure video from anywhere in Colorado, or meet in person at our Denver office. Some couples mix the two.
Couples sessions are $190 with Kirsten Adorno and $215 with Becca Moravec, for 50 minutes. We’re out of network with insurance and provide a superbill you can submit, though whether your plan reimburses pre-marital counseling depends on the plan. See our FAQ page for details.
Who to see for this
Go in with better tools
Let’s talk about whether Prepare-Enrich is the right fit for the two of you. Sessions at our Denver office or online anywhere in Colorado.
Schedule a Free Consultation