They say that breaking up is hard to do…

Breaking Up

Let’s talk about breaking up with your therapist. It can be hard to do - but it’s also part of the process sometimes!

I’ve had about 4 or 5 different therapists since my early 20s. I had very different relationships with each of them - and taken away different meaning and lessons from each of them too. And for one reason or another, our relationships came to an end. Not all relationships, and not all therapist-client relationships, are supposed to last forever. That’s ok!

Like there are seasons for friends, there are also seasons for therapists. Sometimes we outgrow our therapist. Sometimes we have gotten enough from our time with them and feel ready to take on the world without their support. Sometimes, it’s just not a good fit. And sometimes, our therapist messes up and we don’t feel it’s worth repairing.

There are so many reasons we break up with  our therapists - and I want to remind you of a few things.

• You can decide to end therapy at any time. This is your time, money, and energy - you are allowed to do what feels best for you. You are allowed to be picky!

• Your therapist expects this to happen. It’s normal for them!

• Your therapist’s feelings are not your responsibility. If they are upset that you are ending your time with them, that is theirs to hold, and to get supervision of their own about.

• How you end things with your therapist is up to you. You can ghost your therapist and just never follow up. You can send an email saying you don’t want to schedule anymore, but thank you for all the help! Or,  you can have a termination session to discuss your decision. Again, this is your time - and you get to decide how you want to proceed.

• You need to like your therapist in order to do good work with them. The therapeutic relationship is SO important - so genuinely liking your therapist is a big part of the success of your work together!

Know that it’s ok to break up with your therapist when the relationship is no longer working for you. You deserve it!